Samantha will be 20 weeks on Thursday. Those 20 weeks have flown by. It's hard to believe that she's nearly five months old. Time flies. And it's flown so quickly that it's nearly time to think about going back to work.
Before I went off on maternity leave I said to my colleagues that I'd probably fall into one of two camps; either I'd be desperate to get back to work, or I'd be absolutely dreading it.
I realise now that I'm absolutely dreading it. Don't get me wrong, I love being a nurse. It's so fulfilling in so many ways, and I can't imagine having a career in any other field. But I love my child more, and the thought of being away from her is filling me with dread and a little bit of fear.
There's also been a lot of changes on our ward: new staff, old staff retiring, others getting new jobs, more paperwork, less time for patients etc. There's also the constant threat of being moved from ward to ward, which i really don't want. Do I want to go back into that stressful environment? I've been there for 5 years this year, nursing for 6 in total, is it time for a change?
I've been pondering this for a while, trying to come up with ways to delay going back to work. All my ideas are rubbish. We can't afford to live on just hubby's wages unfortunately, so being a stay at home mum is out of the question. Wish I was good enough to knit for a living!
I plan to take about 8 weeks annual leave before I go back, so that would take me up to the 1st November. Keep praying for a lottery win before then...